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2013-14 Winter Storm Names


Jess

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So the Weather Channel named storms, and once again their naming is ridiculous. The last storm was Cleon, this storm is Dion. My work place had obnoxious green signs all over saying "WINTER STORM ALERT", so I played that up to customers. But since I don't think storm names should rhyme, Dion became "Dio", after my favorite hair band.

 

Then I thought... why not come up with a better naming system based on 70s and 80s rock and hair bands?

 

So up next is Winter Storm Eddie Extreme, followed by Winter Storm Foreigner, then Winter Storm Gene.

 

Edit: These are names I came up with, NOT what the Weather Channel is using. I've linked that to the bottom of the post. I've also added my website logo and address to my names to make it clear they're not Weather Channel's.

 

WSNames-Rev3.jpg

 

and The Weather Channel's:

 

2013-14StormNames.jpg

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I didn't think they could top last year in terms of sheer idiocy, but I've been proven wrong! "WINTER STORM BLACK SABBATH, WINTER STORM KISS"....really? I think I'll leave storm naming of any kind to the fine folks at the National Hurricane Center.

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...you guys realize that these are MY names, not The Weather Channel's? Last one was Cleon, now it's Dion.

 

Last night our store had bright green STORM ALERT signs all over the store. This was when we were supposed to get sleet and rain. I decided to play along by using Weather Channel's names, then didn't like how Cleon and Dion rhymed. So Dion became Dio after my favorite hair band.

 

Then it hit me - why not make a list of names based off of 80s hair and metal groups?

 

So yeah. MY LIST, not TWCs. Sorry for the confusion!

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...you guys realize that these are MY names, not The Weather Channel's? Last one was Cleon, now it's Dion.

 

Last night our store had bright green STORM ALERT signs all over the store. This was when we were supposed to get sleet and rain. I decided to play along by using Weather Channel's names, then didn't like how Cleon and Dion rhymed. So Dion became Dio after my favorite hair band.

 

Then it hit me - why not make a list of names based off of 80s hair and metal groups?

 

So yeah. MY LIST, not TWCs. Sorry for the confusion!

Oh, I know, and yours are much better. It's fun when one of us creates a list like this, but really sad when TWC does.
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ZZ-Top-462-MR-300x240.jpg

 

Go forth and Wikipedia.

 

You have no idea how fun and challenging it was to make this list. I tried to maintain alphabetical parity with TWC as long as possible - so they have an F storm, I have an F storm - but you try looking for hair bands who have names or members that start with X and Y, so I just did three Ws.

 

Because I hated how Dion rhymed with Cleon (TWC's storm names), I dropped the n and named it after the late, great, Ronnie James Dio:

[yt]bkysjcs5vFU[/yt]

 

From there, they were gimmees. The first three storms didn't have to be named, but I knew I wanted Anthrax, Black Sabbath, and Crue. Eddie (Van Halen) had to be next. M had to be Metallica, O would never be anyone other than Ozzy, and Q was the easiest because Queen. Some were hard - it took me forever to realize that P had to be Poison. F was originally pencilled in as Winter Storm Freebird. U I even flirted with breaking the guidelines and doing Winter Storm Ultimate Warrior.

 

The list isn't exactly concrete - I might change the S name, for example. Any suggestions, I'll take.

 

I'm pretty sure I put more thought into this than TWC did into their names.

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Goddammit you're right. Slayer is better than Starship.

 

Also, we're getting hit with another snow blast tomorrow, and we have a Winter Storm Warning up. But TWC is referring to this as the second half of Dio, but it's clearly a different, new storm. I don't want to jump to my "E" storm until they do, but this isn't the second half of Dio, so I've had to insert another name.

 

WSDokken.jpg

 

Prepare for Winter Storm Dokken, everybody.

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Okay, so I made some changes to the list that I'm implementing now.

 

First, you're right, dammit, Slash needs to be in there too. So now he is. If I add a third S, it'll be Spinal Tap. Because they go to 11.

 

Second, the V storm will now be Winter Storm Van Halen. I wanted to do that from the beginning, but got scared off for some reason. But now I've decided to jump and run with the devil, though I wonder why this can't be love.

 

Lastly, the decision to go with Van Halen for V is because I decided to call an audible and change the name of the next storm. And since Weather Channel named it, it's time for me to christen it.

 

It's weird naming storms, because their effects are

Neverthless, the next storm is hereforth known as:

 

WSExtreme.jpg

 

Get ready for WINTER STORM EXTREME, people.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Okay. So this one was going to be Winter Storm Hagar. But the Weather Channel is naming this one Hercules, and because it's going to be a strong system, I've decided to call another audible. The second, far inferior lead singer for Van Halen who can't drive 55 is no match for Hercules. So, by the power of Greyskull...

 

Winter-Storm-He-Man-Thumbnail.jpg

 

I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!

 

Yes. I am calling it Winter Storm He-Man. Because Hercules is strong.

 

But He-Man is THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!

 

He-ManLoop.gif

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Okay. So this one was going to be Winter Storm Hagar. But the Weather Channel is naming this one Hercules, and because it's going to be a strong system, I've decided to call another audible. The second, far inferior lead singer for Van Halen who can't drive 55 is no match for Hercules. So, by the power of Greyskull...

 

Winter-Storm-He-Man-Thumbnail.jpg

 

I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!

 

Yes. I am calling it Winter Storm He-Man. Because Hercules is strong.

 

But He-Man is THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!

 

He-ManLoop.gif

 

 

Sheer perfection there!

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Winter Storm He-Man is winding down. But the Weather Channel has named the next storm, Winter Storm Ion.

 

In accordance, HulkieD.com, using their Weather Total Forecasting System, or WTF System, has named the next storm Winter Storm Iron Maiden.

 

Those in the path of this storm should run to the hills, and run for their lives.

 

WinterStormIronMaiden-THUMB.jpg

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